This is true art right here.
Humans are great
one time my parents had an argument because my dad bought a bald cap for $2.70 but he was already bald
you really a bitch if you let the microwave hit zeros while your family is asleep you disrespectful bitch
"we’re five year-olds. we eat nerds all day long. and cap’n crunch and cinnamon toast crunch and cocoa puffs.” — aubrey plaza, bon appetit magazine
last year i was eating in a fancy, large restaurant when i began to hear a rumble and the distant sound of people chanting ‘potassium, potassium’ and suddenly hundreds of people dressed as bananas flood this restaurant chanting potassium over and over and we were trapped there for a very long time because the bananas would not leave and they were everywhere
i wasn’t joking